*1. I AM SO EXCITED
2. AVENGERS WOO!
3. I heard Thor takes off his shirt.
4. Yaaaay Thor.
5. Why are former Communist nations always the bad guys?
6. Oh well. If it works, it works.
7. Where all the ladies? I know Pepper has a company to run and Jane is off doing sciency things, but really… isn’t that an interesting story, too?
8. Ahahaha that ‘no surrender’ comment went over wayy too well with the Belfast audience.
9. As did the ‘Catholic rabbits’ comment.
10. Ultron is kind of really snarky.
11. JARVIS NO.
12. This entire film is the snarkiest.
13. Ultron. ‘If I could throw up in my mouth I would, but I lack that capability.’ SERIOUS ROBOT SHADE WHOAH
14. Did Tony Stark just admit that Bruce Banner might know more about something than him?
15. ‘Hey guys, doing the thing might not be a good idea because of these 15 legit reasons.’ (Bruce and Tony whisper in a corner.) ‘HEY GUYS LOOK WE DID THE THING.’ Other Avengers, ‘Noooo….’
16. Awww Hawkeye has an adorable family.
17. SOMEONE IS GOING TO DIE NOO DON’T MAKE ME EMOTIONAL, AVENGERS.
18. Since when did the Black Widow and the Hulk have feelings? I kinda dig it.
19. Dialogue is cheesy. Explosions are big. I’m cool with that.
20. Ok, scary Eastern European twins.
21. You should know better than to listen to the Terminator-esque robot standing in front of you, very intelligent doctor gal.
22. Ultron ‘I AM EVERYWHERE’ ok, so why do people keep tracking you down?
23. You can see a whole lot of Captain America nipple through that shirt.
24. Everyone make fun of Steve for being old!
25. Now is SUPER not the time for a mid-battle pep talk, scary girl twin. Get your shit together.
26. Seriously, why aren’t there more ladies in this film and why do the ones who are in it seem to need emotional coddling and/or to be rescued? I say NOPE TO THAT SHIZNIZ.
27. Hulk, I know ScarJo kinda pushed you into a hole to piss you off but that’s no reason to leave her all sad and brooding at the end of the film. Seriously. Next time you show your big green face she’s gonna beat you up.
28. Although, I see his point. Why get involved with a lady called the Black Widow? You already know how that story ends.
29. Is that big robot voice supposed to be Irish? Because I’m sitting in a theater full of Irish people who are also asking that same question. Come on guys, get your accents in order.
30. Nick Fury, nice of you to drop by!
31. Heeeeyy look, Jarvis came back and he’s secretly better than Ultron!
32. Which I don’t really get because isn’t Ultron supposed to be like the ultimate artificial intelligence program?
33. Oooo new Jarvis robot guy is kind of hot.
34. HE CAN PICK UP THOR’S HAMMER HOLY SHIT.
35. (Cue back to the beginning of the film when all the Avengers get a bit drunky and try lifting Thor’s hammer. They can’t. No one is worthy. Thor enjoys this.)
36. There are SO many ‘that’s what she said’ jokes in this movie.
37. Did Steve and Tony just make a joke about holding each others’ dicks?
38. Yes. Yes they did.
39. Awww horrible but kind of good boy twin dies. But he saves Hawkeye which saves me from tears.
40. Hawkeye has a cute family, Tony has his robots, Steve has the new Avengers facility, Hulk peaced out somewhere, and everyone else is working with the new Avengers. Wooo make alllll the superhero movies!
41. I think that’s all the thoughts I had when watching the movie. I enjoyed it a lot. There still need to be more kick ass ladies in it. The snarky level was just right.
*Spoiler alert, obviously.